They say your blogs should be personal, this is as personal as it can get. I've never encountered a situation like this in my life. I have never personally been involved with someone so consumed by evil hatred. I can only say a prayer for those who are being hurt over and over by this. My heart goes out to the kids it affects on a daily basis. They have been through more hatred in their young lives than most adults encounter in their whole lives. This is the short story version.
Once upon a time there were two young people who were never married, who sent their children to visit with their maternal grandmother 4 states away. They were struggling in life, like a lot of young inexperienced couples do. The father had hesitations about sending off his two young babies to the grandmother, she was not a loving woman, she was more like "Flowers in the Attic" kind of grandma, wolf in sheeps clothing kind of grandma, BTK killer who hides behind the church kind of grandma, she had been harassing the young couple since their first birth. Never offering a kind word of motherly wisdom, instead she spewed hatred and criticism. Never did she ever open her arms with love and guidance to this young family. She only knew harsh judgement, holding herself above all others. She was a mean, controlling, vicious old woman who lived in misery and didn't want to endure it all by herself.
Against his better judgement, the father sent the children for an Easter visit, she was their grandmother after all, and even though he and the grandmother had their share of differences, he loved his children, and wanted them to know the love of a grandmother like so many of us do. He was willing to try, even if he had the nagging feeling that he shouldn't.
While the children were off visiting in another state for a few weeks, the young mother and father parted ways, and the young mother was jailed for stalking another and making some false accusations against a neighbor. The young couple had already known their relationship days were numbered. The father said he was going to go get his children from the grandmother. When the mother heard of this, she pleaded with the grandmother to go file for temporary custody, just until she got out of jail, so the father could not take them. The mother thought if she had the children, the father would have no choice but to come back to her. The grandmother quickly agreed, this is what she had been waiting for!
So off the grandmother goes to the courthouse, she had already called children services on the young couple many many times for things such as taking a baby on a family vacation trip to Washington. She thought of that as abuse, who would take such a young child on a trip!
No matter how hard she tried to have the children taken from their parents, nothing had ever worked before, so she was giddy with delight at having a mission to control and destroy this family once again. What the young mother didn't know, was that the grandmother had no intention of giving her the children back once she got out of jail.
Once she got to the courthouse she was told she had no stake in the children, they lived in another state, they would go with the natural father, unless, there was some form of abuse involved that would allow her "Emergency temporary custody". The light bulb went off in her head. Wow, that's all I have to do? Well then let me tell you said the grandmother. I fear the father is abusing them, I fear he's a drug addict, I fear he is selling drugs, I fear he may molest his daughter, I even fear the father's Father, may molest my granddaughter, is that enough? I also fear he's an alcoholic, in fact YES, he IS an alcoholic! What else do I need to say? Hey, I don't even think he's really the natural father! spewed the wicked grandmother...In fact..I know he's not, so he can't take them, I'll never see them again after pulling a stunt like this if you give them back to him!
That's enough said child protection services, you are granted temporary custody.
Will he have to pay me money, asked the grandmother, Will he have to pay my daughter money if she comes back to my home, they were never married you know and I'm very very poor and I don't have an income, and I've never worked in my life.
Oh yes, said child protection services, you can even file for welfare, and food stamps, and medicaid because you have the children.
Wow said the grandmother, my financial prayers have been answered! I know he makes really good money! Can you go based on what I tell you he makes? Sure, said child support, we don't have any other information so we'll just use what you know. And that is how the grandmother was awarded approximately $998.00 a month in child support for her 2 young grandchildren without ever seeing an actual paycheck of the father.
The father upon being notified that the grandmother had filed for CUSTODY and Child support for his children was enraged, and rightfully so! He immediately sought legal help, knowing nothing about the legal system and his fatherly rights. All of the accusations were false, just a tool used to gain quick custody and there was no proof to prove otherwise from the grandmother.
He did what any responsible father would do. He fought for them, tooth and nails, fought for them. At first he was told he could not have them because his name was not on the birth certificate of the 2nd child. So he took a DNA test and proved he was the natural father of both children. Then he took drug test after random drug test to prove he was in fact NOT a drug addict. The molestation charge was just plain SICK!
The grandmother refused to let the mother or father see or speak to the children. She didn't want the children crying for their parents so she just tried to force them to forget they had parents. The father asked the court to have the grandmother incarcerated for not complying with any visitation for his children while he fought for them in court. The court enforced the order, and grandmother had no choice but to allow his visitation. When the children returned to her, they were forced back into a life of poverty, isolation, and quick harsh punishment if they mentioned their parents. The little girl was once spanked with a belt for asking to call her father. She quickly learned to withdraw into her own little shell. The little boy withdrew even further into himself than the little girl did, both keeping quiet as to not entice their grandmothers wrath.
For the next 5 years the father and his poor children were forced to jump through hoops of our failing legal system. The father sent money for the children but was unable to pay the very unreasonable amount of child support that ALSO adds over $300 a month in interest to his mounting arrears each month, even to this day, even though his case was closed over 2 years ago. He was forced to fight a very broken legal system 4 states away AND he was making multiple trips for court and visitation with the kids at the same time trying to rebuild his life with his new family and making a home to bring his children back to. Finally, there was no other choice, there was just no proof of any wrong doing, they had to return the children to their God given rightful place in this earth, with their biological parent, their father. The mother was as worthless as an old shoe and sat by doing nothing for her children, watching them suffer, and telling the father to get them out of there.
Instead of admitting any wrong doing and trying to make amends with the father to ensure a relationship with her grandchildren, the grandmother became even more hateful, more vicious, more vile and bitter than ever before. She hated losing control of her grandchildren to this
MAN. Men shouldn't raise children, they don't know how, right?
The grandmother now spends her every waking moment consumed by her own evil hatred and plotting revenge against a man who never did anything wrong to her. She hopes that by chasing him down for every dime he makes she will force him into a life of poverty just like her. She thinks by forcing him to lose his drivers license for not paying her $500 a month in arrears she will force him to lose his ability to work, therefore forcing him to lose his home, and therein lies her hopes of being given back her grandchildren, so she can again use them to file for food stamps, and welfare, and medicaid, and CHILD SUPPORT so her financial worries will again be over by using children that do not belong to her.
It's so sad that these poor children will never know the love of their grandmother. She does not have love in her soul, only black hatred and jealousy. The children only want what other children have, a stable home, loving parents, fun times and family fun. They even wish they had a loving grandmother that they could visit and share their childhood stories.
They want to live and experience all that life has to offer them and because the grandmother only sees them as dollars signs and a way out of her poverty, they will never have more than a mediocre life, and the real people who are hurting the most, are the children.
Please say a prayer for the grandmother to see what she is doing to the children she has already robbed of so much and only wishes to deteriorate their lives even more for her own financial gain.
It's very scary to see how easy it was for this grandmother to abuse the court system. Maybe we should start some kind of legislation to prevent other outside family members from using minor children for a way to gain government assistance.
Kudos to the father, he never walked away, he never gave up. Even though he has to live through this evilness, he loves his children more than life itself. He will be rewarded in heaven for fighting to the end for his children.
Men who take care of their kids are SEXY!
sidenote: The young mother ended up having a 3rd child two years after losing her first two children to the grandmother. At the first opportunity, the grandmother had the young mother thrown in jail, and yep, you guessed it, she got custody of the 3rd child, and all the welfare that goes with her. At this time, the young mother is on the run with her 4th child. The grandmother has now filed felony non payment of child support on the mother (for the first 3 kids), as soon as the police catch the mother, she will be jailed, and guess who's waiting in line to gain custody of this 4th child, and all the welfare assistance that will come with her. Does anyone else out there see a pattern to this behavior?!
